Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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i am and me is i

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops