What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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Justin's hair

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops