When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

Get off my porch.

A midget walks under a bar

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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