Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

thumb_up thumb_down +22

No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An Asian fails their maths exam.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops