Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

What's 1+1? 69.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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