Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Canadians

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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