What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Women's rights

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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