What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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69

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops