what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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