What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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