What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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1

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

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School

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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69

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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