How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Heartlight

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops