Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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WNBA

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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hey

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops