What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Psychics.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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