How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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