Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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