Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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