"knock knock" "Come in"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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full house

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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