A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jaden McMichael

thumb_up thumb_down +18

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

drake

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jesus was a good guy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops