Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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american government

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops