What did the hungry man do? He ate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops