A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Neither does he.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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