How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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My parents died!

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops