Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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