What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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