Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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giddy goat

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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68

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Q: Where is the best place to hide a black persons food stamps? A: In their wallet so they can go to the grocery store and support their family with the little amount of help they get.

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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