If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Q: Where is the best place to hide a black persons food stamps? A: In their wallet so they can go to the grocery store and support their family with the little amount of help they get.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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