Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

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hi

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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