In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

What's funnier than 68 69

Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

Hi

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

women's rights

What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA

yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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