Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

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say cheese

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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Enough with the "whats worse than ... "jokes! They are getting old and have a millon different possible answers. I am aware that this is not a joke but thumbs up if you aggree with.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops