What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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