Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is green and is not grass A frogg

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops