Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Asian fails their maths exam.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

That's what she didn't say

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops