What is yellow and corny? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Whose there? Me! Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This is not a joke or is it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your moms my other ride

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Charlotte Bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops