- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

thumb_up thumb_down

whats brown and sticky? shit

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

thumb_up thumb_down

can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is yellow and corny? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops