Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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