ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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