I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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<!-- alert('I lost the game'); -->

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops