What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Tony Romo

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops