Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Gingers.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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