What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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whats 69+2? 71

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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