What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dusters blow stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nicolas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1 + 1 = 3

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops