- Anti Joke

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

good one jess !!

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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