What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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