Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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