Why did the dog eat poop?

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops