Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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american government

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops