What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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american government

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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