Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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knock knock piss off

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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How would you rule?

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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