Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

Why did the chicken cross the road It didint make it across

Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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