Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"You two form fours while I get the other one"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops