A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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